It’s amazing. The beloved Pastor Ted Haggard is claiming that he has been “cured” of his homosexuality. In a mere three weeks, Ted and his posse have been able to do what scientists, theologians, philosophers, doctors, and psychologists have never been able to do, as Reuters and other sources have reported.

If you had any uncertainty how out of touch Haggard and his cronies are, this most recent assertion should help clarify things.

I guess we’re s’posed to believe that he was getting busy (for pay) with a male hustler for three years for the purpose of religious and spiritual research.

The Savage is Restless … and Jobless

Three cheers to the fan/crony/colleague of the ‘Don and Mike Show’ who made the call that provoked the bigot that spewed the hate that triggered the outrage that scared the network that fired the bigot that rationalized the behavior that insulted the ‘gay mafia’ that lives in the town that media built.

In case you missed this episode, I’m referring to the firing of Michael Savage from MSNBC, which doesn’t have a whole lot of wiggle room these days when it comes to losing viewers. I have only two questions: (1) What brainiac put this lowlife on the air in the first place? and (2) What took the network so long to take him off?

The only downside of the firing is that this asswipe will now have martyr ammo. You know how these right-wing hatemongers like to make themselves into the victims, especially when their media empires begin to crumble. Dr. Laura used this approach. So did Bob ‘Child-Beater’ Enyart.

Never heard of Bob Enyart? A few years back, he eked out a pathetic little local TV career doing God’s work by reading the obituaries of local people who had recently died of AIDS and calling them sodomites and telling his UHF/cable-wasteland audience how much these folks deserved to die. What a lovely way to make a living. But this loser didn’t get fired for this, in spite of the protests. No, the axe only fell after he was convicted of child abuse for beating his own kid. (Expect at least one more Dylan Klebold or Eric Harris in Colorado when this poor spawn of satan grows up.)

Hey, Norton!

As part of Scary Right-Wing Bitches week, let me respectfully remind you to write your senators to request that they object loudly to George W.’s nomination of former Colorado State Attorney General Gale Norton for the post of Secretary of the Interior. (You can find out how to contact your senators on

Many environmental organizations, including The Sierra Club, have been objecting to her on her environmental record, which in and of itself should be enough to disqualify her from being the chief steward of our natural resources. But don’t forget (or perhaps you didn’t know) that, early in her term as State Attorney General, Ms. Norton was one of the driving forces behind Colorado’s now-overturned Amendment 2, the legislation attempted prohibited individual communities from passing any non-discrimination laws for gays and lesbians. Do we really need this kind of hate-monger in office?